I can see new colors

I always thought it a little cliché, perhaps a little cheesy, when people would try to link their seasons of life with the weather. Yet here I am, kind of doing the same for myself. As I think about the leaves changing colors and the highly used line of  “the winds changing”, I ironically can sense the parallels within my own life.

Yet for me, the season before these winds came was a very, very long one. Much longer than those of our planet earth. This season seemed to last about 3 years.

It began after our Fire in the Night internship at the International House of Prayer let out in June 2007, and it has continued up until recently. Relentlessly. The internship provided us with a close-knit group of friends, a new family community in a way. We “belonged”. We were almost “hip” simply due to association of the group that would cheer and scream any time Mike Bickle dared to talk about the “Fire in the Night” internship.

Since the internship ended, we were, for lack of a better term,  dumped in the midst of a somewhat mega-church and were forced to find our own way. In a sense, we had to find our new identity in a place filled with thousands of intercessors.  To add to the pressure, Adam and I both knew that we were not called to be full-time missionaries at IHOP. This only fueled the inner turmoil. Yet we knew that we were supposed to be here and attend the church in order to build a foundation that would take us through the rest of our lives.

Since that time, we have faced many struggles. The constant wondering of just what we’re doing here in Kansas City and what God’s plan was for us. We’ve fought the ongoing, nagging battles of wondering whether we should just quit our jobs and just join the bandwagon (a.k.a. IHOP staff) vs. wanting to leave the church altogether out of frustration of feeling like we’re the outsiders and no one will let us in the club without an “on-staff badge”. These feelings still lurk and try to join forces with our flesh. I believe they want to start a full-fledged revolution around this place. I constantly must remember the heart of Jesus and the sermon on the mount. That little muscle needs much more practice.

But like I was saying, the chapter seems to be turning a little. The winds a-changing. It’s like we can see the season changing around us, ever so gently and slowly. The friends and relationships that we have always wanted and have been praying for are beginning to show up. The doors are beginning to crack open. Opportunities and dreams and comrades, everything that is beautiful is beginning to come alive around us. We have suffered long here. Is this our time?

The answer is no, and I know that. This is not our full-out launching season. But it IS the season right before that, I feel. And coming from someone who has seemed to be sitting in a dark tunnel for a few years trying to find my way to civilization, simply seeing the light peek through the other end is as beautiful as being in the sunshine itself. It’s hope. It’s the early signs of what we’ve been contending for here. Lord, build our foundation. Root us and ground us in You.

We are still working on the foundation. Right now, it looks like parenting books and a lot of prayer and focusing on our marriage. Things that will be tested by fire when those babies come along. But the beautiful thing of it all is that it’s not just us building this foundation now. Others who are like-minded and like-hearted have now stopped by to help out, too. This new season now involves the building WITH others and learning FROM others.

God is good. And his timing is perfect.



4 responses to “I can see new colors

  1. Yee Haw! We love you guys!

  2. Oh yeah! Seasons and times …… they change us. Very good.

  3. I love this. I resonate deeply with that “season before” feeling – praying for you guys & what God will do with & through you.

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